


NUMBERS - The Daily Planet Editor

by 370HSSA_0773H



Category: Batman - All Media Types, DCU, DCU (Comics), Justice League - All Media Types, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Daily Planet, Dick Grayson is Nightwing, Forgive Me, How Do I Tag, Kinda, My First Work in This Fandom, Not Canon Compliant, Some Humor, This is my second attempt, adding tags as I go, basically got all my ideas from tumblr, dick grayson at some point tho, dogs?, main dude is a cutie, obviously, probably butchered this, some pretty BAMF characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-10
Updated: 2019-10-22
Packaged: 2020-06-25 16:47:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19749757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/370HSSA_0773H/pseuds/370HSSA_0773H
Summary: I'm a regular office worker born with the ability to "see" how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7.Today I start my new job at the Daily Planet as an editor. Apparently it's a day of firsts, such as meeting a number 10???- Come and read how James, a not normal guy who's trying his best to be normal, deals with the trouble accompanied by superheroes-[this is prompted by writing-prompt-s please check them out on tumblr, and I think they have an insta as well. wakeupontheprongssideofthebed added the additional idea of this prompt in the DC universe including the use of clark. All credit for the overall idea goes to these two. And of course the original DC characters belong to DC, I only own the new characters made for this story.Look, this is absolutely not in line with the actual plot with the DC universe, so sorry, but I will make it as enjoyable as possible.]





	1. 1 - Just a not normal guy.

**Author's Note:**

> be gentle, this is my second time trying to write this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have edited this and added in more detail since posting it originally, it wasn't very interesting so I decided to try and change that. I don't want to make reading these chapters a chore.

First things first, I want you to know that I did not do anything wrong on purpose. That isn't to say that I didn't do anything wrong at all, just that it was an accident and I didn't know any better at the time.  
I really do try to be the best person I can be, but sometimes life just throws so much crap at me that I really can't deal with it. Honestly, most people would've screwed up a lot more in my position, so I believe that I did pretty well in the end.  
But I guess I'm the only one who thinks this.

It all started with a new job. I had finally landed an editing job at the Daily Planet, basically my dream job if you need some context.  
Naturally when you get something you really want, you don't want to lose it. Which is why at 7AM I was standing in the bathroom of my grandmas small apartment rehearsing how I was going to greet the receptionist today.  
Yes I'm 21 and I live with my grandma, but that isn't the point here. I am so scatterbrained that I need to make sure I have my words ready to use, or else I might just make a weird non-word sounding noise at the poor lady.

"Jamie! Get out of there, you're starting to sound insane."  
I grit my teeth with anxiety and open the door to see my small grandmother standing there with a small knowing grin. She looks like the typical wise, all-knowing, sweet but brutally honest when needed, small old lady. The kind you expect to see in commercials for an ' _Easy to use kitchen/cleaning/health appliance',_ an example of weathered beauty. 

"Gran, how do I look??" I ask exasperated, trying to smooth my hair down flat but failing.

"Like you usually do hun, a charming mess." She replies as she fussily tries to smooth down my hair before giving up and slowly waddling back to her armchair in the living room.

"Thanks for the vote of confidence Gran, should of told me I was a mess sooner"

"I do, but you usually don't hear me. Besides, you sound worse than your sister."

"Gran, we both know the last thing she cares about is appearance."

  
She makes a small noise in agreement and finally plops back down into her chair. "Yes, well... She seems to be doing pretty well now. Despite me having to wrestle her into brushing her hair when she was little." Mindlessly, she reaches down beside her chair to pat Odin. 

Odin is not the norse god Odin unfortunately, he's just a surprisingly dumb Border Collie... So dumb. He is very lucky he is cute. 

He welcomes the pats and presses his wet nose into Gran's palm when she stops.

"Isn't it about time you left?" She asks while the news reporter on the quiet television murmurs about rain forecasted for Gotham, and scattered showers for the metropolis.

Grumbling in agreement I grab my tattered bag and slide into my worn in boots.

The commute from inside central Gotham to the middle of Metropolis takes an hour and a half by subway, which is considerably faster than it used to take before they installed the new underground system.

It was agreed that after so many villains tore through the original network, that a new system were to be built with less service entrances to minimise the number of trains being attacked during the travel from one stop to another. All thanks to Lex Luther who donated the funds which allowed the construction to take place.

The only negative repercussion of these new underground systems is that if a train has an emergency while doing a run, it will be incredibly hard to get to it. Keeping the actual tunnels in mint condition is another grey area too, but Mr. Luther reassured everyone that it would be designed and built with that in mind. 

I kiss Gran goodbye and head out the door, foolishly hoping to avoid any rain due to my recently broken umbrella. Gotham is known for being grey and generally cold and wet, but what people don't talk about as often is how windy it gets.

Making my way down the pavement, it's quite annoyingly occupied by a busy amount of people who could really be zombies. I would absolutely believe anyone who told me these tired-eyed people were actually zombies with a caffeine addiction.

Luckily I make it down into the subway and onto my train in time without being bitten by a passerby, I'm not meant to start work until 9AM, but giving myself two hours breathing space to get over to the other city and find the building is always a good idea.

The man across from me is looking around nervously, his eyes scanning each of the people close to him before landing on one woman who has her back to him.

Everyone crowded around doesn't seem to notice this, or has and is ignoring it.

Normal people ignore this and I can understand that, but unfortunately for me, I am not normal. As the man starts to reach towards the woman's handbag, quite obviously planning on running with it when we stop in a few seconds, I dumbly step forward between the shady man and the woman and tap her on the shoulder.

"Excuse me, have we met before?" I ask, putting on my best dumb impression I can- which isn't very hard.

She looks at me with confusion "I have a boyfriend." She sneers in disgust before moving closer to the exit.

Shoving my embarrassment down my throat I move back to where I was standing to see the man staring down at the ground frustrated.

The train stops and they both leave the carriage.

I only suffered a small amount of public humiliation to save a rude girl from getting pickpocketed. No biggie. I'm just trying to be my best.

And the guy was only a level 2 anyway, which is sad for a guy who chooses crime as a pastime.

What's a level 2 you ask? Well you know how 167 words ago I said that I wasn't normal in the slightest? I don't mean that in the same way someone says 'I'm a bit quirky'. I am legitimately not normal.

I was born with the ability to "see" how dangerous a person is with a number scale of 1-10 above their heads. A toddler would be a 1, while a skilled soldier with a firearm may score a 7.

So yeah, a level 2 isn't that bad. But it doesn't mean they can't hurt you. In all seriousness a dedicated duck could kill me, it's just that I'm able to pick and choose where I can prevent something bad from happening.

That girl being pick pocketed wasn't really necessary, and it's not like the guy was going to fight a dumb guy for asking a girl if he knows her on a crowded subway.

Watching the guy stomp off the subway, he spots another victim. This time a older lady who is too busy trying to read the network map on the wall to notice the attention towards her. He stalks up to her acting as casual as a shady druggie can possibly act, doing a quick once over his shoulder for any police officers or security before ripping her handbag from her grasp and scattering off. The lady stands there looking like a startled fish, mouth opening and closing with wide eyes as she watches him get further and further away. 

I'm no hero, I wasn't about to run after this guy and be late to my job. Shit happens, and I can't stop all of it without drawing attention to myself. 

The train pulls away from the station and I reassume my bleak eyed stare at the ground, trying to calm my anxiety before it reaches panicking point. An hour from now I am going to be standing in front of the massive shiny building that homes the Daily Planet, a building I have only walked past numerous times like a tourist, dreaming of working in there. 

I'm about to meet the people who have been writing the articles in the news paper I've been reading since I was five. I'm about to start my dream job and work amongst people I've admired for too long.

I'm about to faint.


	2. 2 - Impossibly scrambled eggs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters will be shorter until I manage enough time to write at least 3000 word chapters. Sorry about that.
> 
> Update: Yeah.. Edited this too. Wow I am a crappy writer

Luckily, I managed not to faint while walking up to the building and be trampled by foot traffic. 

_Unluckily_ , I fainted just as I walked through the big shiny class doors. **This** is not the impression I practiced to make on the receptionist. Once my sight comes back to me, I'm on the ground with the lady kneeling next to me along with one of the security guards who hang around in the reception.

"Sir? Are you alright? Do you need medical assistance?" She asks with a hand on my shoulder.

The guard has got my other shoulder trying to steady me as I sit up, he was giving me _'the stare'_. You know the one, the one they give people when they know the drama is not over yet.

He was right to give me that stare, and she was wrong to kneel right in front of me.

I threw up all over the front of her. 

"Shit." I manage to gasp as I watch my impossibly scrambled eggs slide down her front and puddle in her lap. 

* * *

So for first impressions, I am butchering them one at a time. I am sure pretty soon everyone will hate me and I'll get fired on the spot because no one wants to work with me.

Naturally the receptionist went to go clean up, while gagging.

As for the security guard, he questioned me to determine why I decided to fall in their doors and bless them with this experience.

Once I got it straight -for the first time in my life- that I was the new guy starting and admitted that I had so much nerves that I fainted upon entry, the security guy was much friendlier and let out a deep laugh. 

"It's all good, I'm sure that was just karma catching up to her early. Just wait until everyone upstairs hears this, they will regard you as a legend!" He exclaims as he reaches behind the desks and pulls out a security pass and a few forms.

"Here's your pass and a few forms for you to sign and hand to the boss. Take the elevator up, it's the fifth floor." He passes me the items and tips his cap slightly in farewell.

I quietly thank him and head over to the elevator, once inside I check my breath and cringe.

Sadly I am not one of those people who carry around mints, mostly because I absolutely cannot stand the taste of mint.

Filling out the forms and only briefly scanning over the general gist of what they're about while heading up, I start to wonder why the elevator isn't moving.

"Dumbass." I murmur to myself as I press the button for the fifth floor, and the elevator finally roars to life.

* * *

The fifth floor was chaotic to say the least, a few of the cubicles look like they had more scattered loose pieces of paper than actual office equipment.

One desk harboured five empty coffee mugs, while another had accumulated a small mountain of takeaway wrappers overflowing from the bin.

I'm pretty sure only one of the desks was normal looking, but in a way it was too normal looking. Everything was placed nicely and efficiently on the hardwood surface of the desk and the filing cabinet- although _incredibly_ dinted- seemed to actually be in use. Walking past it, I catch a glimpse of the inside of their bin, which was filled up with scrunched up paper and more snapped pencils than normal. 

Making my way to the back of the floor where the only closed off office area is, I quietly walk by a guy who is passed out asleep (or dead) at his desk and wonder how he can sleep like that.

The editor-in-chief is sitting at his desk with his hands clasped, he’s smiling but only slightly. His thick moustache and slicked back grey hair gives me the impression of a guy who is hard to win over.

“Ah, James Whitt, nice to meet you, sir.” I manage to spew out, holding out my hand out for (the one and only) Perry to shake.

There is a silence between us as Perry just stares at me before looking down at my hand. His cold calculating stare quickly turns into a full bellied laugh as he stands up and grasps my hand firmly, giving it a solid shake.

“Quite some manners on you, kid. Yes, I know who you are. They rang me ahead to let me know you threw up on Sarah.” Perry booms loudly in his gruff voice. "Sounds like I hired the right guy."

“Uh, thank you sir.” I quickly respond, shaking Perry’s hand back. I'll take any compliment I can get.

Perry lets go of my clammy hand and sits back down, gesturing to the seat in front of him, which I basically jump into, sitting up as straight as I can without looking like a mannequin.

“I’m sure you’re aware of what you are hired to do. You will be editing some of my top journalists’ articles, so I am placing quite a bit of faith in you.” He narrows his eyes at me while I nod trying my best to reassure Perry that I will do my best.

“Today I will have Clark show you the ropes of the office and help set you up, he is one of the journalists that you will be working under. Lois Lane, who is out of the office at this moment, is the other main one, in between editing their crap you'll be taking on any other articles that are thrown at you. Tomorrow, you will properly start your job.”

"Sounds like the plan." I smile, hoping that he doesn't start to hate me any second now.

"CLARK! Come here!" Perry shouts towards the general direction of the door, while I curl in on myself from the sudden loudness.

A few moments pass and a broad man fills the doorway, quite impressively large for a man who is stuck in the office all day.

"Yes sir?" The tall man who I'm starting to assume is 'CLARK', politely responds with a much quieter voice than Perry used.

"Meet James. He's the new editor, and your responsibility until he is settled into this shit show. Show him around would ya?" Perry very informally informs and waves a hand at me as if to say 'scram'.

I jump to my feet and move towards Clark with my hand extended, as I've learnt so far, first impressions matter... somewhat. Although I'm not very bright for someone who is more academically inclined.

So I quickly realise my mistake and lower my left hand and put my correct right hand up.

If Clark is judging me now, he's not showing it, but I definitely don't blame him if he is.

"Clark Kent, journalist- former editor." He greets with a nod, giving my hand a short shake before letting go and gesturing out to the main office.

Walking out to the main area I glance back at Perry out of curiosity.

4.

Well, I guess he isn't very physically dangerous, but that's still a higher rank for a man of his stature.

While I'm at it, I decide to have a peek at above Clarks head as I follow him back to the desk maze.

I falter walking and try to remember how to breathe, there's no way in hell this is right.  
Maybe I've somehow broken my ability? Or it doesn't measure danger anymore? This can't be right.

Clark Kent is a 10.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope this one was ok


	3. 3 - Two times the charm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aye, two in one day- period- type thing. It's midnight, so I guess two seperate days. But I did start writing this part yesterday.

Overall, my landing was 10/10. Full face mash into the ground and everything.

My brain decided to shut down for a few seconds, which naturally meant that I was to trip over my own two feet and fall to the floor like a sack of potatoes.

At least my fall gave reason to the gurgled surprised sound I made right before my descent to the cold hard- nicely carpeted- floor.

Clark looked down at me in surprise, and honestly, I really can't blame him. Imagine being tasked with showing the ropes to a newborn fawn, the questions flying through his head right now must be like 'can it function?'.

The answer is no.

"You alright kid?" Clark offers a hand out to me like the God sent angel he is, but I hesitate like a dumbass.

He's a TEN. T E N. That's superman level on my radar.

Absolutely cannot be a human. There's no way that is possible, this mild-mannered reporter for the Daily Planet must be an alien impersonating a human who they've killed and replaced. Should I even trust this hand Clark is offering me?

After a moment's hesitation, I take the hand and stand back up. Did this guy just call me a kid?

"New shoes sorry." I lie. Like a liar. These shoes are the most worn out things since- since- I have no comparison but you get what I mean. These shoes basically have holes in the bottom of them.

He looks at me with a smile that says 'I totally believe you. Totally.' He's probably just glad I didn't throw up on him.

"So what's the go around here? Anything oddly specific?" I ask trying to make the man talk to me, obviously so I can convince him that I am a friendly person who doesn't deserve to die at the hands of a rank 10 alien reporter.

"Oddly specific?" He repeats before thinking. "Yeah actually, the desk with the paper all over it is Lois'. Don't touch it, surprisingly she notices when something has been moved on it."

"That's impressive." I praise because he did manage to tell me something oddly specific. "What's Lois like? I always enjoy her articles."

"Fierce. When I first started here, it was hard to keep up with her as a fellow reporter. Lucky for you, you're just an editor." He laughs, and I nod very seriously.

Yes, I am very lucky. There's no way I would have the guts to be a reporter.

"Well I hope I get on her good side, she sounds interesting." I mutter before almost kissing the floor again.

"Oh! Sorry! Couldn't see where I'm going!" A guy carrying three boxes says hurriedly as Clark helps him put them on a near-by desk.

"It's fine. I probably would've fallen over on my own anyway." I laugh, little did they know I am being completely serious.

"James. Meet Jimmy. He's the photographer for most of our articles." Clark introduces.

"James? Would you look at that, we're name buddies." He gives me a good hearted wack on the back. "Nice ta meet ya."

"Likewise." I push my glasses back up my nose before they fly off and attack someone important thus getting me fired.

"I was just showing James around, it's his first day." Clark explains.

"Oooh, well if you ever need a helping hand around the office, lemme know and I'll see what I can do for ya." Jimmy beams at me with the brightness of a thousand suns, how can people look at this boy without sunglasses.

"Thanks, I'll keep it in mind."

"What are you doing around here anyways?" he asks, leaning up against a desk with one too many bobble heads on it.

"I'm an editor. Working here is pretty much my dream job." I shrug.

"That's pretty sad, wanting to work at a dump like his." Jimmy Jokes and Clark politely smiles. "Is this your first gig?"

"No, not quite. I've worked in the same field for a few years now." I dismiss this quickly wanting to get the conversation away from dangerous subjects. "Do you work here full time? No offence but you seem quite young."

"None taken, because you're right! I am young" Jimmy beams "It took some convincing to get Mr White to take me on as a photographer but here I am."

"Well I look forward to talking to you more." I lie, in a good natured way though. Sometimes all you want is to be left alone to do your work and not be obligated to talk to someone, but I'm not going to tell him that.

"Yes, I still need to show James where everything is before it gets too late in the day." Clark remarks, startling me into acknowledging he is still there despite being quiet.

"I'll leave you two to it then! See ya!" Jimmy Shouts, waking up the man sleeping at his desk who proceeds to crack his neck and fall straight back asleep.

A super power I inspire to have.

_______________________________________________________________

Clark quickly showed me around the office and finally to my desk.

"You'll need to head down to tech and get a pass for your computer. They're in the basement." He offers a smile and heads back over to his desk.

Nodding, mostly to myself though, I head over to the elevator and go down to the basement. The most unnerving thing is when you're in an elevator and there's no music. All you can hear is the clanking of the wires lowering the elevator down the shaft, along with the creaking of old metal.

With a quiet 'ding' the basement is revealed to me.

There is a surprising amount of beeping and computer-y noises down here, approaching the first non technological being I see they point me in the right direction.

Only for the right direction to tell me I need to head in the left direction.

The chubby man types rapidly as the screen is reflected in his rectangle classes.

"Uh, excuse me sir?" I ask, hoping to god this interaction won't end in me and the ground.

He grunts at me in acknowledgment.

"I need a pass for my computer, today is my first day." I explain, hoping to receive at least 5 pity points from the guy.

Clatter Clatter Clatter

He ignores me.

What is this guys problem. I look above his head and register that he in fact is a 1.

Perhaps he's taking the fact he is as dangerous as a toddler out on me since I'm an easy target?

"Are you the right guy?" I ask, knowing if I pester him enough that he will give me what I want so I'm gone.

He continues to ignore me in favour for typing at his computer. Looking down at his stubby fingers, I realise he may not be properly typing too, since the letters primarily consist of WASD.

"Must be, man you would not believe the day I've had so far, it started off so normal too, you know? And then bam I'm waking up on the reception floor and throwing up on the receptionist. Scrambled eggs all down her front. I must say it was the most vomit looking vomit I have had the chance of creat-"

"Oh my god, shut up, OK? I'll get your damn pass. Just." He looks at me with annoyance and I can't stop myself from feeling smug. "Shut. up."

I mimic zipping up my lips and cross my arms as I wait for him to find me a pass.

"Name?"

"James Whitt."

"Whitt?" He looks at me with something other than annoyance before turning back to his screen.

Using letters outside of WASD he finally gets me a simple five digit code and promptly goes back to ignoring me.

Foregoing the usual 'thank you', I head back up and test out my office chair.

I really don't think I'll stop spinning in unnecessary circles any time soon, for now I keep it at two spins minimum.

_______________________________________________________________

It's finally 4 o'clock and I am gone. My computer is all setup with the necessary changes, such as the background being a picture of an awesome forest waterfall.

(A default option, I thought it looked better than a few oddly paired flowers in the sun, and I really didn't want to go online and look for a photo)

On the commute back, I look back on today.

It could've been worse.


	4. 4 - beautiful stranger (totes no homo tho)

It was only four hours into my first shift before I finally met Lois, and god were those four peaceful hours.

"But _**Perry**_ , those were our best catches. You can't stop them from being published!" Is shouted as soon as the elevator doors open.

No one else seemed to pay it any mind, but I can't help but let my attention be drawn in to the lady yelling at Mr. White. This lady must be the infamous Lois Lane, a force to be reckoned with and the only reporter in the metropolis that doesn't flinch way from any story. She is both inspiring, and terrifying. She made her name known, and then some more with her alleged meetings with superman. Somehow managing to get the mysterious man in blue to talk is enough reason to respect her. 

_Well, that's what I learnt from the other side of a computer screen at least. I honestly have no idea what to expect from meeting her in person, though I have heard she seems quite rude..._

"Lois, you know that whenever we make Lex look bad he comes for our throats." I hear Perry grumble. "And as much as I love your fighting spirit, we can't afford any more setbacks."

Finally managing to get a peek at the two, I see Lois huff and stomp her heeled foot down before storming over to her nest of papers.

_Shit. Look down, don't make eye contact._

With my luck I was placed on the adjacent desk from Lois' only facing the opposite way to her, so it is hard for us to ignore each other.

Clark's desk is in front of Lois' desk so he has his back to her. So I am pretty much in the middle of everything, I think they gave me this desk so I could talk to the reporters of the articles I was editing.

I duck my head back towards my computer and hope she ignores me, meeting her while she's in this mood might mean our first meeting may go badly. 

"Who the hell is this?" She demands loudly, I flinch and hesitantly look up at her. 

As always my luck is on vacation, though I am starting to think it bought a one way ticket to the Bahamas with no intention of returning. No one replies to her, all pretending to be very busy with whatever they're doing.

 _Traitors_.

Clearing my throat I stand up and extend my hand to her, "sorry, Uh, I'm the new editor. James." I greet with polite indifference, if I'm lucky, she might not rip my hand off. 

"James? Do you have a last name or is it James James." She asks with narrowed eyes, not taking my hand.

"Uh." I feel my face giving in to the anxiety building in my stomach, it decides that red is the perfect colour to turn as I retract my hand back to fiddle with my left hand. "Wouldn't that be horrible, sorry, my name is James Whitt." I laugh nervously hoping that she catches on that I'm not here to burn the place down despite how hot my face is right now. 

At least not on purpose.

She raises an eyebrow, mulling over the new information. Just before she speaks Clark comes back in from the break room with a cup of coffee.

He looks up and raises his eyebrows, noticing that Lois is back and that I am in fact a talentless chameleon. At least Lois seems to be a fraction happier when she sees Clark, despite their apparent 'rivalry' ( _which I think is bullshit, they are totally bff's despite what everyone says online_ ). 

"I see you have met James." He states the obvious, pausing to sip his coffee before continuing on "he's taking over from our previous editor..." He informs Lois, watching her carefully. "Didn't Perry tell you?"

I feel my face slowly returning to its normal colour, thanking the gods for sending Clark in time to convince Lois that I'm not an imposter here to steal their articles... _Why would someone even go through the extreme effort to leak stories like that? Wait forget I said that._

She clicks her tongue at Clark and sits down at her desk, choosing to not answer him and instead silently shuffle through the copious amount of papers on her desk.

Taking that as my cue, I sit back down and continue reading through a minor sports article they gave me to edit while waiting for my main work to come through.

Sneaking a glance over at Lois I see her with a contemplative expression, looking at her computer.

I'm doomed for sure.

Deciding to see just _how_ doomed I am, I finally check her number above her head and blanch at the sight. She's a 6 and I am not surprised one bit, I'm sure if she really wanted to she could walk all over me and end my career.

_______________________________________________________________

"I'm home." I drone into the apartment.

Foot steps bound down the hallway before I am faced with a very excited Odin, heading full steam directly into me. 

Backing up slightly I brace for impact, but I'm still shaken by the force of his body jumping onto mine. He licks every inch of my skin he can find and makes strangled whining noises in excitement.

"I'm happy to see you too, Odin, Odin, ODIN. Please stop." I laugh as he manages to lick my face. I splutter as I try to get the dog slobber away from my mouth because that is _nasty._

"Such a needy dog. You have raised him to be a baby." Gran says over the noise as she stands at the end of the hallway watching. Finally Odin sits in front of me, but his tail betrays his attempt at looking calm. It thwacks the wall with every wag at an inconsistent beat.

"Well I do think of him as a baby. So at least that's accurate." I pat his head and move past him to give Gran a kiss on the cheek.

"How was your day?" She asks with a smile, taking my arm as I lead her back to her recliner.

"Pretty uneventful in comparison to yesterday." I grimaced thinking about the carpet burn on my palms and the struggle with the vomit breath I had all day.

"That's better than too eventful." She says like the wise old woman she is.

"That is certainly true.. though I met Lois. I really don't think she likes me at all."

"I'm sure that's not true at all, what is there not to love about you?"

Ignoring the warmhearted praise I decide to give her the run down, "Well you see, she was already in a bad mood from her reports being rejected by Mr White. Then she met me for the first time without the knowledge I was going to be there.. She was quite unhappy." I explain as I sit down on the couch across from Gran.

"Well, as long as it wasn't your fault. She should see that you're not that bad at some point." Gran nods at herself. "Now would you fetch me a cup of tea? My show should be on soon."

"Of course gran, anything for you." I bow to her with a grin and head into the kitchen.

"Have you talked to any of your siblings recently?" She asks me from the other room.

"No, how could I? They're all way too busy saving the world." I joke, boiling the kettle.

"I'm sure they would love to hear from you, honey." She tries to reassure me, though it lands flat, bless her for trying. 

I don't reply back to that, allowing the kettle to fill the silence with its bubbling. What am I meant to say? ' _Hello! I haven't talked to any of you in months and it's majorly out of character for me to even start a conversation with you lot out of the blue, but how are you? Great? That's totally not surprising at all, with all that success and everything.'_ No, they'll probably think someone hacked me anyway.

I bring the cup of tea out to Gran and hand it to her, she pats my hand and goes back to watching her soap opera. 

"I'm going to take Odin for a walk." I announce as I walk over to the closet where we keep his leash and he peaks up at me from his bed excitedly.

"Come on boy." I say as I hold out the leash to attach to his collar.

He comes bounding over again, only allowing enough breaks in licking me to attach the leash.

_________________________________________________________________

I huff as I speed walk through the park across the street from our apartment, the sky is turning a brilliant orange as the park lamps turn on.

Odin is panting and walking along happily, practically dragging me along with him. It's not like I could fight him in terms of strength, I'm quite pathetic.

Not paying attention to the upcoming path I trip over an overgrown root that has managed to rip through the cement pathway.

"fffuuuccckkk" I say in what feels like slow motion as the ground slowly gets closer and closer and closer....

 _The shit_?

I never make impact with the ground. Instead I hover slightly above it. Registering the steady arm around my waist, I stand back up with help and look the owner of the nicely muscled arm. 

"You better watch out, that would've been a nasty fall" A relatively good looking stranger says. I'm doing all I can to not gawk in surprise as I register this guy. 

He's a well built, tall guy with jet black hair and what I think are blue eyes? It's kinda hard to tell in this lighting. Not like you register everyone's eye colours when you first meet them anyway. I scramble to find coherent words to use. 

"Ahhhh.. Sorry... I.. have a habit of falling over everything." I say seriously, avoiding eye contact as if my life depended on it. 

He laughs and my world tilts sideways at the noise, _that can't be his real laugh, it's too perfect_. I think with suspicion. "That can't be fun. Were you stuck in your head?"

_Oh no, the nice stranger is making conversation with me. This is a recipe for disaster._

"Yeah... you could kinda say that, I was also trying to keep up with Odin." I gesture to Odin who is sitting there happily, looking up at the guy with more open interest than myself. _He probably should have been named Zeus in hindsight...._

"Must be a fast dog." He pats Odin enthusiastically who wags his tail welcoming the attention. _Lucky dog..._

"Or I must be beyond slow." Saying the alternative, I take another moment to study this stranger.

_And yes, despite being a guy myself, I can admire another guy and call him pretty. Because I'm not blind... Despite the glasses._

"No way, you seemed to be doing fine. Do you walk around here often?" He reclaims his hand and Odin whimpers slightly from the lack of pats.

"Yeah, most days. Need to stop this guy from getting fat since dieting didn't work...." I narrow my eyes down at Odin accusingly.

"It's a nice park, one of my first times taking a run here. I don't get the creepy vibes most city parks give off at night." He immediately says, really holding the conversation up. _What a champ._

"Do you want to walk with me?" I ask. _Idiot, where the fuck did that come from. Lets just invite the attractive stranger to walk with us, maybe if we out friendly them first they won't be a serial killer._

He seems to think for a moment, his smile disappearing for a few seconds before reappearing tenfold. "I'd really like that."

I nod and start walking again, this time with the guy at my side.

Internally kicking myself, I realise I should probably check how dangerous this stranger is before I invite them to walk with me through the park alone at night. Looking up meekly, I pretend to admire the trees around us as he talks about this and that.

_AN 8?_

_Um excuse me, God? Hate to bother you but What the fuck? Why am I suddenly running into so many dangerous people all of a sudden. Am I a magnet?_

Looking back in front of us, trying to look as natural as I can. I realise that I wasn't listening to what he was saying at all.

"-and then he stabbed me." _WHat_? "My brother is so mean, but it's just how he is I guess. Doesn't mean I don't love him any less." _Oh_. "Although I think the lead from the pencil is still in my arm somewhere.." He inspects his forearm with squinted eyes.

I feel relieved that it was only a brotherly thing, stabbed, but not fatally totally relatable. 

"Do you have any siblings?" He asks with interest.

"Ah yeah, four. Three older brothers and one younger sister." I smile politely, _why am I telling him this?_

"Well that must be interesting. I can't imagine what being the youngest brother must be like." 

"I guess, though I haven't talked to any of them recently." I confess, _is this something we're doing now, honesty hour with strangers in the park? Gran did suggest therapy..._

"Yeah I haven't really talked to mine either." _Wow, guess it is a common thing to never talk to family._

"How many siblings do you have, again?" I add on the 'again' just to be safe because I don't want him to know I totally ignored him earlier.

He gives me a knowing look, "well, three I guess. One of them isn't with the family anymore. I'm the oldest though." Sounding proud he puffs out his chest slightly.

"That's unfortunate about the one that isn't there anymore.. Where did he go?" I ask very seriously. 

He kinda just stares at me weirdly, and I get the feeling I missed the point entirely, which happens. 

"Uh.... probably not heaven knowing him..." He kinda murmurs. _FUCK. Oh no. UhHH so, they're dead. **Not** on vacation. Shit my bad. _

My eyes widen in realisation "Shit my bad, I'm so sorry." I quickly try to fix my mistake. 

Looking at me very amused he grins "Don't worry, simple misunderstanding. It wasn't recent and we weren't very close." He laughs slightly at my evident panic. 

"Uhm, still, pretty dumb of me to say that, accident or not. I can't imagine one of my siblings dying, they seem kinda immortal in my mind." I say truthfully, feeling like I owe it to him. 

"Gosh I wish I could think like that, it would make me worry a lot less." 

"My siblings are overseas half the time, so I guess I detached from them at some point. It doesn't help that I avoid all of them except my Gran." I step over a tree root on the cement pathway and check up ahead to see how much further we have to go before I'm free from this social interaction. 

"Your Gran?" He asks, with pure curiosity.. I think. 

"Yeah I live with her as her carer." I try to explain so I don't sound like a complete deadbeat.

"That is nice of you, to take care of her." He nods in approval. 

"Well not quite, I guess I'm the lonely one out of my family. So Gran takes as much care of me as I do her.." I laugh trying to make this sound more like a joke.

"Pretty wholesome. Do you have many friends?" He asks, probably not intending to stab me in the heart. 

_That sounds sad, when a stranger asks if you have friends._ "Do I sound like that much of a loner?" I ask unsure of the impression I'm giving off.

"Oh! No, it's just- I don't mean to be rude. I didn't mean it like that. It's just that you said you were lonely- and I- look." This guy is getting pretty flustered over this, I feel bad for pointing it out.

"I just wanted to know, because, I would like to be friends with you." He finally manages to get out, he rubs the back of his neck and keeps his eyes focused ahead of us. 

_What? Friends with me? Why would someone want that. This is weird, he must be a serial killer or something.._

Ignoring numbers, I realise he has been nothing but nice to me. _Not that serial killers can't be nice..._

"Do you have your phone on you?" I ask with new found confidence, hoping that he has managed to squeeze a phone somewhere on his pretty skin tight exercise clothes.

Magically he pulls out his phone from seemingly nowhere, and I take it or rather he lets me take it. After a few buttons pushes I have added my contact into his phone.

"There." I say handing it back to him, trying to fight the cringe creeping up my back.

He takes it and immediately looks at it. "James from the park?" he asks with a grin he and raises an eyebrow at me.

"So you won't get me mixed up with any other James'" I say as if it is the most sensible thing ever, and he nods, typing in something to his phone before putting it back into the magic pocket somewhere on his body.

My phone buzzes, and I pull it out from the pocket in my jeans. 

"Just me. Figured it's the easiest way to get my number into your phone." He explains, observing me unlocking my phone. 

"Hmmm, what to add you in to my contacts as..." I contemplate "How about stranger from the park?" I joke as he swipes my phone from my hands.

Typing it in as he says it "Dick from the park." He hands it back with a small grin.

_uh, did I misread this entire interaction with him?_

"Dick...?" I ask, hoping he understands my confusion. 

"Like Richard." He elaborates, with a sheepish smile. 

"Oh." I say as it makes more sense, and he looks at me with a mischievous eyebrow raise. I waved him off, knowing that I can't explain myself.

"It's both a curse and a blessing if you have humour." Dick says, slowing his walking to a stop.

The pathway ends here, and so does Odin's walk.

"Well I better be off back home before my gran thinks I've been murdered." I joke, turning to him.

"It was nice meeting you, we definitely have to walk together again." He pats Odin one last time. 

"Well don't expect any real workout if you're walking with me." I offer and earn a small laugh before we part ways. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't think im good at writing dialogue that's in character, whoops


	5. 5 - Too Sweet For You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the motivation - here you go

"GRAN" I yell as soon as I enter the apartment, barely pausing to take the leash off of Odin. "Guess what happened!" I call again, walking hurriedly through the apartment into the living room only to retreat inwardly as I notice that she is in fact asleep on her sofa.

"Ah." I breathe out quietly, deciding that perhaps this conversation can wait till tomorrow.

Gently I nudge her awake and whisper to her, "how about we get you to your bed?"

She blinks a few times, attempting to wake up but mostly failing, helping her up and to her room, I tuck her in and turn off the lights. Closing the door behind me I turn to Odin who has made himself comfortable in his bed too, and shrug.

_Come on, it's only 7 o'clock._

* * *

  
' ** _t_ _ **hwack**!_**' I jump away from my desk as a small pile of papers is slammed down on it, looking up for the source of these papers I meet eyes with Lois.

"I need these edited before the end of the day. Get to it." She orders coldly before slumping back down at her desk.

_Ok then miss cold shoulder..._

Reading through her newest scoop I notice that it is an oddly tame piece about an up and coming charity ball that is being held by Wayne Industries... It's confusing how normal this article is for her until I reach the part which she must have targeted towards me.

' _Many of the successful Whitt family will be there, including General Wilson, and the twin scientists Chester and Daniel. Word says that even the youngest of the family may be making an appearance too.'_

 _Damn you Lois._

I send a petty small glare her way, only to find her already watching me. She feigns innocence immediately.

"Something wrong? James Whitt?" She asks in an overly sweet voice.

"Low blow Lois." I decide to murmur before going back to editing the article.

"Sorry what was that? I couldn't hear you." She asks loudly, gaining Clarks attention. "Oh well..." She immediately continues on, not giving me a chance to actually reply. "I wanted to ask, are you going to the ball with your family?" tapping a pen to her lips she stares at me intensely.

"Why would I?" I ask, feeling absolutely deflated of any emotion at this point. "Look Lois, I'd appreciate it if you treated me as if I wasn't related to them. It would make my job much more tolerable "

_Might as well aim to be civil at this point, since that is the least I can beg for from her._

"What if I said no?" adjusting herself on her chair, she turns back to her work and pretends to think. "It's not like you haven't worked crappy jobs before."

Feeling like I've been punched in the gut, I stand and head to the break room to escape Lois and her unfriendly behaviour. There's nothing that coffee hasn't fixed before, and the old complicated machine is a nice distraction from any negative thoughts being dragged around my mind.

After I've hit the machine for the fourth time, Jimmy appears next to me. He casually leans against the counter next to me and watches me try and work the stupid machine like a caveman.

"We usually just buy coffee from the cafe across the street- By 'we' I mean me. I have no idea how Clark makes his coffee..." Adds helpfully.

"One of the worlds greatest mysteries." I huff as I give up on trying to get the machine to obey. "You said it's just across the street?" I ask, trying to calculate about how much I have in my wallet at moment.

"Yeah, I was just about to head over there if you want to join me?" Jimmy offers, he seems like he's trying pretty hard to be friendly with me. I figure why not throw him a bone and give him something to work with, anything is better than Lois at the moment.

Pretending to mull it over for a moment even though my mind was already made up, I nod "yeah, that sounds like a good plan."

Jimmy grins at his success in luring me into a social outing and leads the way to the elevator.

* * *

  
"I just don't know why she hates me" I ponder aloud as we wait for our orders to be made.

Jimmy had tried to strike up a conversation by asking if I was getting along with everyone in the office, and I- _deciding that perhaps honesty is my new thing_ \- explained to him that I got along perfectly with everyone except the receptionist and Lois.

He laughs "The receptionist..?" He asks as if that is the stupidest thing ever.

"No, I know why _she_ hates me. But I have no idea how I set Lois off so badly."

"I was gonna say" He says in reference to the vomit incident. "Well... I'm pretty sure Lois is the reason the last editor who worked under her quit." Jimmy starts with a look of concentration on his face as he tries stacking sugar packets in a small tower.

"She is very hard to impress and doesn't trust people too easily. It takes a while, but if you're determined enough- Like Clark was- then she'll tone it down." He goes on, now adding the packets of salt onto the ever growing pile.

"I just want to do my job, it's not like I need her to make it hell." I grumble before turning my attention to the barista calling our names.

"Don't worry, I'm sure if it gets too bad then Mr White will step in. You've got me and Clark to keep you company anyway." Jimmy abandons his impressively balanced hill of packets in turn for his coffee.

We walk out of the quiet cafe and cross the road back to the office with our hot drinks. Taking the elevator up we make it back to the fifth floor and head seperate ways.

I walk past Lois's desk in order to get to mine and she stops me with her hand.

"Ah, thank you." She grabs my coffee out of my hands before I can stop her and takes a long sip.

I go to protest but stop myself with a small frown and watch her start to cough and spit into her trash can. Taking my coffee back from her I narrow my eyes, waiting for the abuse.

"HOW-" She coughs again, "How much sugar do you put in your coffee!" She continues to cough and look at me like I tried to poison her.

"Enough apparently." I reply, happy that my tastes deter her from ever trying to steal my coffee again.

Sitting down at my desk, I ignore the weight of Lois glaring at me and get back to work.

* * *

As I pack my stuff up to head home, my phone buzzes with a text message. Curiously, I unlock it, wondering what Gran would need to text me for.

To my surprise, it's not from Gran, but rather Dick from the Park. It's an image of a dog biting the handle of a knife, with the blade pointed towards the camera.

"My youngest brother's dog. This is what I have to deal with." Is all Dick has written, with a crying emoji.

Smiling at the image I figure he's trying to be funny and that I should respond.

"Perhaps you should call the police, it's obviously armed and dangerous." I decide is the most appropriate response despite wanting to respond with "Where the hell did it find the knife?"

As I wait in the elevator I get a response.

"That would be an interesting phone call with the police station."

* * *

  
Over the next week the text messages from Dick seem to be the main thing that helps me pull through working with Lois. But despite the past intention to walk in the park with him again, there have been no plans made, and I haven't seen Dick on my nightly walks with Odin.

"You seem to be pretty happy with whatever is on your phone, young man." Gran cuts in, pulling my attention away from walking Dick through how to use Grammarly on a work email. Though I'm pretty sure he's playing dumb just to make my life difficult.

"Just a friend Gran." I offer, waiting for the accusation she always gives him.

"Not a girlfriend..?" she asks in her small wavering voice, disappointed but attempting to remain hopeful.

Thinking of Dick and trying to imagine him dressed in ladies clothes makes me snort slightly.

"Definitely not." I conclude, putting down my phone and turning my full attention to Gran, knowing what's coming.

"You should try and find a nice girl to date, James." She lectures.

"Don't worry, I'm sure one of my other four siblings will get married soon and have kids. You won't miss out." I sigh, knowing that this will never rest.

"Yes, but it's not you. You would make a great husband." she says confidently.

"What makes you think that?" I challenge. 

"You take care of me, I'm sure what ever woman you end up with will be very lucky." She continues on.

_Oh god, I wish she knew how wrong she is._

"Speaking of lucky Gran, the lotto numbers should be coming out right about now." I swiftly change the subject, looking at the time on my phone and ignoring the message sitting there from Dick. 


	6. 6 - Do you wanna ride

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rain.  
> Alfred.  
> Stuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I'm depicting Lois as too much of a snake. Trust me, she gets better in future chapters. Um, sorry for not uploading as much as I said I would be. Is it a surprise? Nope.

Looking outside the large windows of the office I notice the looming dark grey clouds that threaten to spill rain. No sign of the normal sunny sky that usually hangs over the Metropolis, just dark thick heavy clouds.

"-oudnine. It's completely harmless I think." Lois drones on, complaining about the newest thing Mr. White has asked her to report on.

Kent sits at his desk nodding to her words as he types away at his computer.

_I can never tell if he's listening or not. I know I wouldn't be, but I'm starting to suspect he likes Lois a little more than a coworker._

"-ost importantly, why should I report on it if it isn't even a problem? It's the same as writing about Aspirin getting rid of headaches, there's no point." She taps her pen on the desk before slamming it down in frustration.

Checking the time I decide it's about time to head home and start packing up my things. Lois notices this, taking this as her cue as if I haven't been shunned enough by her already.

She throws a pile of papers onto my desk with an all too sweet smile. "Oh silly me, I completely forgot to give you these to edit."

"But-" I start, only to be cut off by her again.

"I need them done by tomorrow morning." She finishes as she packs up her things to head home.

 _Why do I deserve this, universe? What did I do wrong?_ I think as I mourn my afternoon plans.

I flick a quick text to Gran before settling down again to complete this new work load.

* * *

I ended up leaving the office just around 7 o'clock, way after everyone had left.

Rain had been pouring for the last hour and hasn't let up, to make things worse, _someone_ decided to borrow my umbrella.

_Splash splash splash_

My feet are practically swimming in the puddles that flood the footpath, having long lost the original urgency of not getting soaked I speed walk my way home.

Luckily I had managed to get to the subway from the office relatively fine, but the journey through the Gotham streets is another story.

Amongst my sloshing, I register my phone buzzing in my pocket. Spotting a closed shop front up a head, I decide that maybe pausing under some shelter to get my shit in order isn't that bad of an idea.

Flicking the water off of my hands under the slightly flickering street light, I pull out my phone to check my messages. Unsurprisingly it's from Dick who has decided to grace me with a picture of him pouring water out of a boot.

_Well at least I'm not the only one having problems with the weather_

Taking a quick snap of my pathetic state of being I press send before I can over think it.

The image is clearly of me standing in the dark street with my hair plastered to my forehead and my glasses littered with raindrops. Overall, I think my 'I hate life' face was pretty 10/10.

JAMES: [image.png]   
JAMES: At least you have boots.   
DICK: You look like someone pushed you into the ocean. Are you seriously walking home in the rain without an umbrella?   
JAMES: I was not blessed with the luck of those who have umbrellas, dick.   
DICK: How far away are you from your home? Do you need a lift?

I take a moment to consider this, I'm slightly over half way home and can probably manage to get all the way home on my own.

JAMES: Not too far, I'm already drenched anyway. A bit too late for a lift.   
DICK: Thats too bad. Let me know if that changes : )   
JAMES: Appreciate it.

Putting my phone back into my pocket after rummaging through the multiple messages I have from my totally real friends. I look up to see if the rain has gotten any lighter, only to realise a sleek black car has pulled up in front of me. Immediately I reach into my bag to feel around for the pepper spray, hoping that Lois didn't steal that too.

The car driver door opens and an umbrella opens up to shelter the man climbing out, he seems to be an older man from the looks of things, but he's still too far away for me to be able to make out any features. Only numbers.. which only increase my panic. _7_

_Damn glasses are wet. I really don't need any trouble right now_

The man walks over to where the overhanging roof starts and I am finally able to make out his face. His face feels somehow familiar, but doesn't ring any immediate bells.

"Hello sir, quite some rain?" He greets pausing a safe distance away from me.   
He has a small moustache, an almost fully receded hairline, and is dressed in formal butler attire.

"Quite." I agree meekly, wondering what type of butler likes to mug poor editors stuck in the rain.

He seems to assess my response to him and looks back towards the car with heavily tinted windows.

"I want to offer you a lift home. No one should have to walk in this type of weather." He offers politely, which he may have intended to be just that- a polite offer out of the goodness of his heart- but to me it sounded like a stranger asking me to get into his car.

"Uh, which kidney will it cost me?" I ask "I kinda like my organs.."

He looks amused at my remark and seems to reassess his offer in terms of appeal.

Lots of things can happen, most of them dangerous and life threatening. I try and think of a polite way of rejecting his offer on the premise of not wanting to get kidnapped or murdered tonight.

But before I am able to put words together he speaks again. "I can understand how this is extremely forward, and I do hope I can reassure you that there is no danger.." He extends his hand, offering a dry rectangle business card.

I take it and look over the information, it's a black card with white writing. His name is Alfred Pennyworth...

 _Uh...Pennyworth... OH. That Alfred Pennyworth? As in Bruce Waynes butler..?_  
I think with confusion before affirming it is indeed Bruce Waynes butler, as the card addresses him so. It slightly makes sense he's a 7 now, I dare say that he has undergone martial arts training due to his job. 

"Oh, you work for Mr. Wayne?" I ask hoping that this isn't someone just impersonating the butler.

Alfred nods and gestures to his car, "would you care for a ride home?"

 _Well when life gives you lemons.._ I decide why not and nod my head "That would be nice, thank you."

He offers some space under his umbrella and walks me over to his car, opening the door for me. I clamour inside and he shuts the door.

He climbs inside the drivers door, gracefully closing the umbrella as he does.

I feel out of place, like a homeless man with no money in a five star restaurant. To make things worse, I am ruining the leather seats with water.

"Where to sir?" Alfred asks, looking at me through the rearview mirror.

"Uhm, just straight up this road, about five blocks."

"You walked from the subway?" He asks as he pulls out from the curb.

"YEah." My voice cracks, _wow, thanks a lot voice_

"Quite a ways to travel at night, in the rain no less." He continues on, keeping the silence from creeping in.

"Well, I do sit around an office all day. Some exercise is good."

"Fair enough, I don't mean to intrude, but where do you work?" He glances at me again.

 _Well I walked into that one._ "Not intrusive at all, I'm the stranger sitting in your car." I reason "I'm an editor at the Daily Planet."

"That must be an interesting job. Mr. Wayne does a number of interviews with the Daily Planet in regards to fundraisers and charities. You may see him soon enough."

"Perhaps, though I am only an editor. I don't do any reporter work."

"Is there any particular reason for that?" He asks, stopping at a red light.

"I'm not very good with people. I prefer the quiet editor life." I add on a small laugh before remembering it's considered rude to not introduce yourself. "Uhm. My name's James by the way. Sorry for not introducing myself sooner."

_God, how do you act polite. This is so exhausting._

"Ah, a name to a face. James you seem familiar." Alfred points out the elephant in the room.

"Yes, I guess I just have one of those faces." I say to dodge the subject.

"Perhaps. Is your home along here?"

We are about a few buildings down from my apartment but I decide it's probably best to not give up my address.

"Yes, here is fine thank you."

He pulls over and I get my things in order, "Thank you for the ride Mr. Pennyworth."

"Please, call me Alfred. Don't be a stranger." He nods, allowing me to escape the warmth of the car and trek back through the rain.

Luckily, he doesn't wait around to watch me enter any buildings and drives off.

* * *

Bursting through the front door of my apartment, I call out "Gran, you're never gonna guess what just happened!" I pull off my shoes and shimmy out of my jacket before proceeding into the living room.

"I got a lift home fro-" I pause mid-sentence as I realise Gran has fallen asleep again on her recliner.

"Actually, no, it isn't that important." I decide aloud as I gently wake her and walk her back to her room.

**Author's Note:**

> please let me know how I can improve in the comments, i appreciate every piece of advice and any suggestions.


End file.
